Sage Rat
by iosolomon
Summary: Lost Pilot Episode 27. Sage Rat reveals more of the South Park prophecy to iosolomon. Balance in Our world is still threatened.
1. Chapter 1: Sage Rat Appears

Chapter 1: Sage Rat Appears

Sage Rat: "io..."

iosolomon: "Who's there?

Sage Rat: "It is me."

iosolomon: "You are early. It is not the 26th yet."

Sage Rat: "Yes, I see, 11:11. Hey, take a hit."

iosolomon and Sage Rat smoke some weed.

Sage Rat: "But what if we were in Europe?"

iosolomon laughs, "O, wise, Sage Rat, what brings you here?"

Sage Rat: "I..."

iosolomon interrupts, "Are you injured?! What happened?!"

Sage Rat: "Do not worry about me. You must hurry."

iosolomon: "What is it that you need me to do?"

Sage Rat: "Take this. It's a memory crystal."

iosolomon: "Like from starcraft ii?"

Sage Rat: "That's what I was going for."

iosolomon: "I see. How do I access it?"

Sage Rat: "CM 5000. I must go now."

Sage Rat vanishes.

xXx

iosolomon: "CM 5000, iTunes, we have a problem."

CM 5000: "What is it, sir?"

iosolomon: "Sage Rat just appeared. He was injured."

CM 5000: "What happened?"

iosolomon: "I do not know. He gave me this."

CM 5000: "What is it?"

iosolomon: "He called it a memory crystal. He said you would know how to access it."

CM 5000: "I never heard of it."

iTunes: "Reboot my system, or you'll be sent through the Slam Shuffle Route 2 again."

iosolomon: "Send us through Slam Shuffle Route 2. We are out of weed for this episode until we are watching it on tv."

iTunes sends CM 5000 and iosolomon traveling through the Slam Shuffle Route 2.


	2. Chapter 2: Slam Shuffle Route 2

Chapter 2: Slam Shuffle Route 2

iosolomon: "We need to find Cartman_from_E2."

CM 5000: "Locating. Locating. Target found."

iosolomon: "There."

Cartman_from_E2: "Hey, you didn't forget about me."

iosolomon: "No, but I'm going to change your name. iTunes, contact Namingway."

iTunes: "Terrible lie. But I'll tell you the truth. You can either click 1000 times until you come across the only FF2 song you have, or you can have CM 5000 establish a cold link."

CM 5000: "Ah, I'm a bit busy."

iosolomon begins clicking.

Madonna quickly comes to the rescue.

Madonna: "CM 5000. I'll hang up your connection."

CM 5000 is freed. CM 5000 establish a cold link with iTunes. Theme of Love ~ Rosa's Theme is selected.

Rosa: "Do not forget to change both names, or else, there will be another internal error."

CM 5000: "Thank you, Rosa."

Namingway appears.

Namingway: "I forget how to change names."

iosolomon: "Damn it. Now what?"

Belthasar appears: "Access the Enter Now."

CM 5000: "I'll load up Final Fantasy 2."


	3. Chapter 3: Don't Forget

Chapter 3: Don't Forget

iosolomon and CM 5000 enter the world of Final Fantasy 2.

iosolomon: "Oh not this shit again."

CM 5000: "What's happening? Why is the A-button being repeatedly pressed?"

iosolomon: "iTunes, power down."

iTunes: "Powering down. Rebooting system."

itunes reboots. itunes selects, "Almost Over, Limp Bizkit."

iosolomon: "That's re-assuring. It'll be a quick visit to this world. CM 5000, ready?"

CM 5000; "Let's go!"

iosolomon and CM 5000 re-enter the world of Final Fantasy 2.

iosolomon: "CM 5000, WATCH OUT!"

CM 5000: "AH!"

iTunes: "Hard reset."

iosolomon; "Alright, try again."

CM 5000 tries again. "AH!"

iosolomon: "Damn, you guys are vicious."

iTunes: "Hard reset."

iosolomon: "Alright, we'll get it this time."

CM 5000: "AH!"

iTunes: "Powering down. Epitaph 2 plays."

Cartman_from_Epitaph_2: "Let me go with you."

Cartman_from_E2: "And me, whatever you want to call me."

Cartman_from_Epitaph 2 and/or Cartman_from_E2, iosolomon, and CM 5000 all enter the world of Final Fantasy 2.

After they exit,

present-day iosolomon: "I can't believe we almost forgot E2. Thanks for having our backs."

iTunes: "Glad I could be of assistance."


	4. Chapter 4: Fabulous?

Chapter 4: Fabulous...?

iosolomon: "Success."

The party enters the Castle of Fabul.

Soldiers: "We will guard here!"

Soldiers: "There's a rumor going around the sailors. Something about the ruler of the ocean...?"

Soldiers: "Going out to sea? Please be careful. There have been many shipwrecks recently."

iosolomon: "That's right. They just acquired their first sea ship."

CM 5000: "Let us visit the King."

Chancellor: "The King has been wounded. So, he is resting in his bedroom."

The party enters the Crystal Room.

iosolomon: "Damn, the crystal is missing."

CM 5000: "My core."

iosolomon: "What was that CM 5000?"

CM 5000: "Nothing, forget I said anything."

The party travels to the East Tower.

White Mage: "I wish I could use the white magic as well as Rosa."

Wounded soldier: "They even have monsters on their side..."

Wounded soldier: "G... Golbez...!"

Namingway: "Would you like to change your name? Yes/No"

CM 5000: "First, select No."

Namingway: "Very well. Anytime if you change your mind!"

Namingway: "Would you like to change your name? Yes/No."

Yes is selected.

We see in the upper right hand, a portrait of Namingway, who looks similar to Belthasar, but like an Indian. We also see the four characters in the Party, Cecil, Rydia, Edward, blank space, and Yang

FF2 text: "Namingway: Change name? Yes/No."

No is selected.

FF2 text: "Very well."

Namingway: "Would you like to change your name? Yes/No"

Yes is selected.

FF2 text: "Namingway: Change name? Yes/No"

Yes is selected.

FF2 text: "Who's name? Cecil, Rydia, Edward, Yang?"

iosolomon: "Hm, I don't see Cartman_from_Epitaph_2 there."

Blank space: "I am there. Just select me."

Blank space is selected, but the game shows it as Yang.

A window with the alphanumeric appears allowing you to enter in a new name. E2 is typed in.

iosolomon: "Good. We can exit now."

CM 5000: "Can we go out to sea?"

iosolomon: "But we do not have much time."

CM 5000: "Please! In case if I have to die, it's all I want to do."

iosolomon: "But Sage Rat was injured."

CM 5000: "Look, it's only 11:48. The next episode wasn't supposed to start until 12. Sage Rat knows it was supposed to be EST."

iosolomon: "That's a good point. What if we let iTunes decide?"

CM 5000: "Agreed."


	5. Chapter 5: iTune's iDecision

Chapter 5: iTune's iDecision

iosolomon: "iTunes, what should we do?"

iTunes: "One fine day, the Crystals, 60s songs."

iosolomon: "iTunes says sure, then let's go!"

CM 5000: "Sweet!"

E2: "Do not forget to visit the King."

iosolomon: "Wait, is that E2 or Yang talking?"

E2: "I'm not sure. All you see is the text."

The Party reaches the top of East Tower.

E2's wife: "My...! you are alive!"

E2: "They save not only me, but Fabul as well."

E2's wife: "Thanks for everything!"

E2: "Are you okay?"

E2's wife: "Sure! A soldier came, but I hit him with my frying pan!"

E2: "Have any weed?"

E2's wife: "Sure. I even have brownies and shrooms."

The party lights up. and eats brownies and shrooms.

The party enters West Tower, but it is actually called 'Right Tower'

Wounded soldier: "Oh, I'm not sleeping! I am contemplating!"

Soldiers: "Good luck!"

2F, Girl, "Wanna see me dance?"

iosolomon: "Select no."

CM 5000: "Selects yes."

Girl changes into soldier

Cecil jumps back, "WA!"

CM 5000 quickly establishes a cold link with iTunes. "wha wha" is selected.

Looptaf: "WHA WHA"

iosolomon laughs. "Classic."

The girl who appears as a soldier continues to frenziedly dance around. "ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO!"

Cecil: "What did I just eat?"

E2: "Yes, what did my wife just give us?"

iosolomon: "Lol, I told you to select no. Well, go select 'no' now for poor Cecil."

Girl: "Wanna see me dance? Yes/No"

No is selected.

Girl: "Did you make fun of me?"

Boy: "Achoo! I wanna be strong like our Karate fighters!"

Lady: "It's good that our town is within the castle!"

Bartender: "What an attack!"


	6. Chapter 6: Off to Sea!

Chapter 6: Off to Sea!

FF2 updated text: "3F: King's Room"

Nurse/Maid: "The King used to be a great Karate fighter also. It's nothing to worry about!"

King: "Go to the harbor to the east as soon as you get prepared. You'll find a ship is there for you."

E2: "Thank you, King."

The Party exits the Kingdom.

CM 5000 starts to head the wrong way because he is disorientated from all the drugs.

iosolomon: "CM 5000, wrong way. This way!"

CM 5000: "Whoa. Yeah, I never did shrooms before."

The Party arrives at the Dock. No battles were encountered.

E2's wife: "Honey! Take good care and fight bravely!"

E2: "Certainly!"

E2's wife: "The others too!"

Cecil: "Yes, madam!"

CM 5000: "Thank you, ma'am."

The Party boards the ship.

E2: "Take care!"

E2's wife: "Don't worry!"

The party walks to the Captain.

Captain: "You are Cecil! I've heard of your feat! Feel at home on my ship. It won't take long to reach Baron! Now, let's get going!"

E2's wife runs to the end of dock to wave good-bye.

Captain: "Raise the anchor!"

Sailors: "Hey!"

The sailors and Captain all jump out doing a 360 in air. The ship departs at 12:01 on November 26.


	7. Chapter 7: The Peaceful Blue Sea

Chapter 7: The Peaceful Blue Sea

CM 5000: "Oh yeah, this is the shit."

iosolomon: "You're right. This was a good idea."

We watch as the ship drives itself to Baron.

En route, we zoom into the ship to see what the characters are doing.

E2: "What would you do after we arrive at Baron?"

Cecil: "Let's find Cid the Master Engineer. He's the expert of the airships. He'll help us."

E2: "Hope he's okay.

Edward: "..."

Rydia: "Are you cold? You are shivering."

Edward: "No, it's nothing..."

On another part of the ship, iosolomon, CM 5000, E2, the Captain, and a few sailors are smoking weed.

CM 5000: "Oh yeah, this is exactly what I needed."

The ship continues en route to Baron.

But then, there is a problem.

12:03

Cecil: "What?"

A tidal wave opens up. There is a sea monster.

Sailor: "It can't be!"

Sailor: "Is that true!"

Sailor: "The Master of the Seas!"

Sailor: "That's..."

Captain: "Leviatan!"

Leviatan continues to rise up out of the Ocean.

The sailors are panicking.

Captain: "Stop it!"

The ship is hit with a wave. Rydia falls overboard.

Rydia: "Help!"

E2 runs to the side: "Rydia!"

E2 valiantly jumps in.

Cecil: "Rydia! E2!"

E2 is about to jump in, since that is what the script just said he did

iosolomon: "E2, that was for the other E2."

CM 5000: "Maybe the ship ride was a bad idea."

iosolomon: "Damn, look at what we've done to these poor people."

The monster sends another wave to the ship. Edward is knocked out

Edward: "No!"

Cecil runs to help. Cecil: "Edward!"

The monster continues to attack, and sucks the ship into the whirlpool it created.

The party is separated.


	8. Chapter 8: Toad Soup

Chapter 8: Toad Soup

Cecil and iosolomon are on the beach.

Cecil: "..."

iosolomon: "Are you okay?"

Cecil: "...Uh"

iosolomon: "Are you okay?"

Cecil: "...Um"

Cecil gets up.

Cecil: "Where am I?"

iosolomon: "At some beach. I'm not sure myself."

Cecil; "Rydia! Edward! E2!"

Cecil: "Guess I'm... alone."

iosolomon: "That's how I feel."

Cecil and iosolomon are on an island. They begin to walk.

They battle a Raven. Cecil kills the Raven in one hit.

They arrive at the island's town of Mysidia.

White Mage: "The Serpent Road was named [such] because it drains much stamina from travelers."

iosolomon: "Cecil. Go speak to the black mage. Become a toad."

Black Mage: "You! ...I'm avenging my friend! [Black mage casts spell Toad] Toad!"

Cecil becomes a Toad.

Black Mage: "This is the Serpent Road leading to Baron. It is now sealed to prevent the further Baronian raids."

iosolomon: "Thanks Cecil. My friends are in here. Go save your file."

Cecil speaks to the Mayor first.

The Mayor explains that Cecil must end his dependency on the Dark Sword, and climb Mt. Ordeal to become a Paladin. It is the only way he can defeat Darkness.

Palom the Black Wizard and Porom the White Wizard join the Party. Cecil saves.

iosolomon: "Until we meet again."

Cecil: "Farewell."

iosolomon, CM 5000, and E2 exit the world of Final Fantasy 2.


	9. Chapter 9: Success!

Chapter 9: Success!

E2's name changes back to Cartman_from_Epitaph_2 / Cartman_from_E2.

CM 5000: "Whew. I thought that was going to be a disaster."

iosolomon: "Their world doesn't look like it's in good shape."

CM 5000: "Neither does yours...neither does yours..."

iosolomon: "But that's because Cartman failed to achieve his goal."

Cartman_from_Epitaph_2 / Cartman_from_E2; "But there is still hope."

iosolomon; "Yes, iTunes, contact Namingway again."

CM 5000 establishes a cold link.

Namingway: "Ah, yes, that is how I change names. Which name or names would you like to change?"

iosolomon: "Please change Cartman_from_Epitaph_2 and Cartman_from_E2's name to E2."

Namingway: "It is done."

42011261222420

Rosa: "And please change E2's name to E2."

end of 42011261222420

CM 5000: "And please change E2's name to E2."

Namingway: "It is done."

iosolomon: "Good call, CM 5000."

CM 5000; "That was from Rosa. She blessed me."

iosolomon: "Alright, that was a good run through the Slam Shuffle Route 2. iTunes is showing us the way now."

The party exits.


	10. Chapter 10: Access

Chapter 10: Access

iosolomon; "E2, do you know anything about memory crystals?"

E2: "Yes, actually."

iosolomon; "What can you tell us?"

E2: "Let me see. Here, CM 5000, hold this."

CM 5000 grabs the memory crystal.

CM 5000: "I see. iosolomon, you must access the video that was never posted to the internet. Sage Rat wants you to see what happened."

iosolomon; "Damn, I was afraid it would be another prophecy. Well, let us get to work CM 5000."

CM 5000 accesses IMG_1004

CM 1024: "A view of NYC from across. Entropy. We are entropy. "

CM 5000 accesses IMG_1003.

CM 1024: "A black lighter is tossed in the water. Good-bye to the first city. Weeping is heard. I'm going to try and keep a smile. A blue lighter is tossed in the water 3 minutes later representing the 3-day period."


	11. Chapter 11: CM 5000 Accesses Lost Video

Chapter 11: CM 5000 Accesses Lost Video IMG_0024.

CM 1103: "IMG_0024 was uploaded to youtube, but was too long to be posted. This was a good thing because the video was of a very poor quality, despite the honest misperception that it was high quality."

CM 1103: "Alright, the day is November 3, 2012. This is what earthlings do. Look at that, now we are in the year 1994."

CM 1103: "We have developed nuclear warfare. And we are at the early days of nuclear warfare, unaware of the long-term consequences of nuclear pollution, even though, it is common sense, but I guess Einstein forgot to give you the memo."

CM 1103: "America nukes Russia. Russia is destroyed. But Russia, having a policy of MAD, sends all its nukes to America as a final blow. America is destroyed."

CM 1103: "But the war is not over. Both Nations have lost 98% of their populations. The joys of nukes. And the People that survive, they are developing cancer and other diseases from the massive amounts of radiation poisoning."

CM 1103: "We will pray to the Gods for protection. I will pray to Simba, my cat."

CM 1103: "We will end up like the People on Mars. But, if we all start praying to Simba, and stop destroying the rain forest, we could come out okay."

42011261253420

CM 1103: "A bong is accessed. Weed is smoked.

bong noises are heard.

CM 1103: "See, see it, Simba loves weed."

end of 42011261253420

CM 1103: "Ok now Our People are ready. Now you can kill us [because we just partied our brains out and enjoyed Ourselves]."

CM 1103: "Oh shit, now there's all this pollution, but we can use the pollution to our advantage. Like the melting ice caps. But we have to pray to the gods for permission, like the polar bear which is endangered of becoming extinct."

CM 1103: "Who wants to keep repeating a broken system of two-parties? This election, you should vote for the Constitution."

CM 1103: "Just don't vote for Romney if you don't want a Nuclear Holocaust. But you can always jump under your desk"

CM 1103: "And do you really want mind-reading devices in your malls and shopping centers in 10 years, then don't vote for Obama. Not that Obama necessarily wants that, but that's the road the Obama Administration is paving for us.] The Patriot Act is unconstitutional."

CM 1103: "I want to read all the names of the People if anyone has to be nuked. I want to do this before it happens."

CM 1103; "Our People are so impressed with your honor to the gods that we will die for your sins."

CM 5000: "Man, you smoked some good weed in this video. Hard to imagine just 3 weeks ago we were living in marijuana heaven."

CM 1103: "Wow, Jose, you're pretty good at this game when you don't smoke weed."

CM 1103: "Our People want to know why the world still has nuclear weapons, why we are still playing this game."

CM 1103: "Our People are like the Ukrainians during WW2. Just peacefully living, minding our own business, living in villages, enjoying life, Level 1, until the Russians come in and decimate."

CM 1103: "You have a right to vote. Just go out and vote. If they say no, document it, and mail your vote in anyways. Mail it to Ron Paul. He stands for the Constitution"

CM 1103: "Ok, now I'm Ron Paujl's Party. We'll take your shit, and we'll clean it up."

CM 1103; "The reason why America is so fat is solely due to their diet, the artificial crap corporate America puts in it, like growth hormones, preservatives, Ron Paul will reform the FDA to actually do the job it was created for. Protecting your health!"

present-day iosolomon: "And don't forget, a lack of chromium in your food is one of the leading causes of diabetes. Do you know anyone with diabetes? Thank corporate America for that."

CM 1103: "Simba, I need your protection again."

CM 1103: "But if you want to die a warm death, vote for Mitt Romney. It's not that bad. You get to go out in one big party."

CM 1103: "We watch as the computer battles the computer."

iosolomon: "Man, I'm really glad this never got posted. Although I would have removed it right away since it wasn't as good as I thought it was."

CM 1103: "Final battle. We are mad. We are just nuking you. "

CM 1103: "But how am I supposed to meditate."

CM 1103; "Oh shit. We died. We nuked ourselves, domestic terrorists who wanted to save the other country since no one should die like that. No one should just die while going about innocently going about their day. This has brought Dishonor to Japan. Despicable West."

CM 1103: "But isn't it funny how the American government would just brand People fighting for the Constitution as domestic terrorists? Any human who calls themselves righteous would agree the Constitution is the best way towards equality for All. But that does not mean we should impose our values on other cultures. Look at how long it took for America to evolve (and still are) and our American government expects other nations to just change over night. Yes, it is possible, but you cannot demand or force it, otherwise, they'll resist it. But the American government was blinded by its own arrogance."

CM 5000; "End of video."


	12. Chapter 12: The Conditions

Chapter 12: The Conditions

iosolomon: "Hm, is there another?"

CM 5000: "Yes, there is a hidden file. But there are conditions on accessing it."

iosolomon: "What are those conditions?"

CM 5000: "iTunes will tell you the three conditions with the next three songs selected. I'll reboot Her systems."

iTunes: "You must use the oil that Jose left you. You have been battling using it. Go, now, place it on your tongue. 3 drops."

iosolomon does. iosolomon makes a weird face at the taste.

iosolomon: "Sigh. The next song will probably tell to drink my piss, and the third song will probably be water or something. I am refusing alcohol! I have the scripted Court session in the morning."

iTunes: "You called it. Drink some of your own piss."

iosolomon: "Fuck you. But this is for Sage Rat."

iosolomon drinks some urine, fighting his body's initial physiological response to vomit.

present-day iosolomon: "On a side note, urine therapy has many useful benefits."

iosolomon clicks for the third condition.

iTunes: "Yup. I bet you didn't see that one coming."

iosolomon: "I need more instructions. Is it only partial, or full?"

iTunes gives him more directions.

iTunes: "You are now ready to access the hidden file."

iosolomon: "Roger that. CM 5000, are you ready?"

CM 5000: "Yes sir!"

Britney and Madonna appear. "Good luck!"

iTunes: "You've found it."


	13. Chapter 13: The Hidden File

Chapter 13: The Hidden File

CM 5000 accesses the hidden file.

"Select your party."

"iosolomon, CM 5000, E2, and Sage Rat are selected."

The Party is sent to the Floating Continent.

Sage Rat: "Before we proceed, you should access..."

We hear Kefka's laugh interrupt Sage Rat.

CM 5000 knew which file to access, and accesses it.

CM 1014 reveals to iosolomon what he needed to see.

iosolomon: "Was King Solomon's encounter with Emperor Kefka merely Cartman impersonating him?"

Sage Rat: "Whether or not it was Cartman is irrelevant. When you put on Kefka's mask, you become pure evil."

E2: "Do you feel that?"

iosolomon: "No! We are not going to make it in time...to save THIS world."

Sage Rat: "No, there is still time."

iosolomon has a flash forward. "I cannot let you do this, Sage Rat."

Sage Rat: "But King Solomon, it has already happened."

iosolomon: "Emperor Gestahl..."

Sage Rat: "We must go."

The party arrives while King Edgar and the others are battling Emperor Kefka. They also see in the distance, past iosolomon, past CM 5000, past Chef, and past King Solomon jumping for Setzer's ship.

Chef: "FOOL! MY SHIP!"

Correction, jumping for Chef's ship.

Chef: "That's better."

Sage Rat: "We must wait. We must allow them their chance to fight."

And, we watch the battle ensue. The party has to flee the rock.


	14. Chapter 14: The Fateful Battle

Chapter 14: The Fateful Battle

Sage Rat: "Emperor Kefka. What have you done?"

Emperor Kefka laughs, "Welcome back."

Sage Rat: "I will not let you destroy this world."

Emperor Kefka: "But it is not I who wishes to destroy, it is you!"

iosolomon: "But mercy, forgiveness, peace."

Emperor Kefka: "Man invented sin. Man invented justice. I am merely the executioner."

CM 5000: "But by my calculations, you will destroy all in your deliverance of justice."

Emperor Kefka laughs.

The Party engages Emperor Kefka in combat.

Emperor Kefka: "I killed you once Gestahl, and I'll kill you again!" Kefka laughs.

Emperor Kefka attacks Sage Rat. Sage Rat's HP falls to critical levels.

E2 casts Cure 3. Sage Rat's HP is restored.

CM 5000 casts Fire 3.

iosolomon attacks.

Emperor Kefka: "Your efforts are futile. And I will crush you like the ANTS you are! :Kefka laughs:"

Sage Rat casts Heal on Emperor Kefka. Emperor Kefka takes massive damage.

Emperor Kefka: "Ow! That hurt."

Emperor Kefka casts Meteor onto the Party. The Party takes massive damage.

E2 casts Cure 3 on the Party.

CM 5000 casts Fire 3.

iosolomon summons Shiva. Emperor Kefka is dealt 9,999 damage.

Emperor Kefka: "Hahahaha, so you have acquired Her."

The white color of the 9,999 damage changes to green color. Emperor Kefka is healed 9,999. Emperor Kefka mimics the attack, and hits Sage Rat. Sage Rat is dealt 9,999 damage.

Sage Rat falls: "You are not ready to cast that summon."

E2 casts Life 2 on Sage Rat. Sage Rat is revived.

The battle continues.

CM 5000 summons Ifrit. Emperor Kefka is dealt massive damage.

iosolomon summons Ifrit. Emperor Kefka is dealt massive damage.

Emperor Kefka laughs, "But there is nothing you can do to stop me. Now, feel true pain."

The Party falls as they hear the static. On the screen, we see something that looks like static.

Sage Rat falls, but stands back up despite the static.

Sage Rat: "FLARE. FIRE 3!"

Emperor Kefka laughs, "That is what you just did before I killed you."

Emperor Kefka: "Now! Die!"

and a thunder bolt of light is zapped towards Sage Rat.

CM 5000, equipped with True Knight jumps and takes the hit. [True Knight is a relic in the game that allows the Wearer to cover other characters with low HP during battle.]

CM 5000 is critically wounded.

Emperor Kefka: "Oh. What a good sport. NOW! DIE!"

Sage Rat. also equipped with True Knight, throws CM 5000 out of the way. Sage Rat is tossed off the rock.

iosolomon: "NO! Just how I saw it happened!"

iosolomon casts Ramuh.

Emperor Kefka: "OW! Now, you die!"

But then, Shadow appears, and chucks the mind control device at Kefka.

Shadow: "I'll hold him off. Hurry, escape."

The Party flees.

Emperor Kefka breaks free of the mind control device.

Emperor Kefka and Shadow battle.

Emperor Kefka: "Why is it that you help them?"

Shadow: "Why is that you would destroy them?"

Emperor Kefka: "There is no meaning to their existence. I give them their meaning. Without evil, they would have no purpose."

Shadow is blown away by a bolt from the Statues.

Emperor Kefka: "The gods and goddesses have spoken. ::Kefka laughs::"

And does Shadow survive? That depends on if you wait for him or not.

Well, Shadow survives either way, but if you want to know that he survives, you have to wait.


	15. Chapter 15: Re-group

Chapter 15: Re-group

iosolomon, E2, and CM 5000 are back at home base.

iosolomon: "..."

CM 5000: "Are you going to be okay?"

iosolomon: "Why did it have to be?"

xXx

Teddy: "And so, with all worlds in all universes on the brink of destruction, we must wonder what will happen. What is it that man will chose? Destruction like Emperor Kefka? Or Hope like CM 5000?"


	16. Chapter 16: Sage Rat Approaches Emperor

Chapter 16: Sage Rat Approaches Emperor Kefka

Sage Rat: "Why is that you have called me here?"

Emperor Kefka: "You forgot to end 'Sage Rat.'"

Sage Rat: "I forgot to end 'Sage Rat.'"

Blankie appears. "ha ha ha, don't worry, that always happens to me."

Emperor Kefka: "INDOLENT ANT YOU ARE! And you dare mock me?!"

Sage Rat: "And just what are you going to do?"

Emperor Kefka: "I'm going to kill YOU!"

Sage Rat: "Not this time."

Emperor Kefka and Sage Rat battles. Blankie fights with Sage Rat.

Emperor Kekfa is the normal character sprite, not God.

Emperor Kefla begins to summon Shiva.

Sage Rat summons Chocobo.

Emperor Kefka is trampled by Chocobo.

Emperor Kefka: "And now, the gods will have off with your head!"

Blankie's menu loads up. "Fight / Black Magic / Smoke / Items" show up.

Blankie costs Smoke.

Blankie blows a whiff of weed at Emperor Kefka.

Emperor Kefka's WP is restored. Emperor Kefka laughs. The battle ends before Shiva was summoned.

Emperor Kefka: "Tellah. Do you want to try that new magic you have learned?"

Tellah: "Yes, My Lord."

Tellah battles Sage Rat and Blankie.

Tellah immediately casts Meteo.

Sage Rat: "Blankie, we won't be able to survive this attack. I'm sorry I dragged you into this."

Blankie: "Do you have any weed?"

Sage Rat tosses marijuana at Blankie. It restores WP to Blankie. But Blankie begins changing the same colors that Cecil saw right before he became a Paladin.

Blankie's menu is loaded up. "Fight / Black Magic / Smoke / 420 / Items."

Blankie casts 420.

The High Spirit descends. Everyone's WP is maxed out. Tellah begins to change green."

Tellah: "I...I forgot that I, too, am a Sage."

Blankie appears, "ha ha ha, don't worry, that always happens to me."

Tellah: "But I have remember what I was fighting for, the reason why I came here to learn the Black Magic."

Tellah joins the Party.

Emperor Kefka: "I teach you what you wanted to know. And now you betray me?"

Tellah: "I do not betray you, but I do not betray a fellow Sage. My Honor is with My Brothers first! If it was any other enemy, I would die for You, My Lord."

Emperor Kefka laughs. "Very well."

Emperor Kefka battles Sage Rat, Sage Tellah, Blankie 1, and Blankie 2.

Emperor Kefka begins to summon Shiva.

Blankie 1, still morphed, casts 420.

Everyone's WP is maxed out.

Emperor Kefka cancels the attack. Emperor Kefka begins to cast Meteo.

Blankie 2 casts smoke.

Emperor Kefka's WP increases. Emperor Kefka cancels the magic.

Emperor Kefka: "Do not HEAL me!"

Emperor Kefka casts Ice 2 on Himself.

Sage Rat casts Fire 2 on Emperor Kefka!

Emperor Kefka: "Ah! I'm alive again."

Sage Rat: "Now! Tellah!"

Tellah begins to casts Meteo.

Emperor Kefka casts Flare on the entire Party.

Blankie 2 is incinerated.

Blankie 1 survives because he is blessed.

Sage Rat and Sage Tellah were dealt about 20% damage.

Tellah casts Meteo. 9,999 damage is dealt to Emperor Kefka.

The battle ends.

Emperor Kefka: "NOW YOU'VE MADE ME ANGRY!"

Tellah: "Sage Rat, battle Blankie 1. Hurry!"

Sage Rat and Blankie 1 battle.

Blankie 1 casts 420.

Sage Rat tosses hemp oil at Blankie 1.

The battle ends.

From the sky, we see a brilliant flash of light heading towards the Party.

III21_Hemp_Oil_Transmission_Gaia's Navel_8

Blankie 1: "I'll bring us to safety."

The flash of light hits. Blankie 1 emits a light green flash of light.

Blankie 1: "Through this portal. I can't hold it off forever."

Sage Rat and Sage Tellah jump into the Portal.

Blankie 1 dies.

end of III21_Hemp_Oil_Transmission_Gaia's Navel_8

Emperor Kefka laughs. "And that is what will happen to you, Sage Rat, if you do not end this episode. The gods and goddesses will hunt you down. You cannot escape."

Sage Rat ends the episode with a Party!

Everyone, including Emperor Kefka, starts partying.

Emperor Kefka: "AH!"

Sage Rat: "I am Sage. Say it, Emperor Kefka."

Emperor Kefka: "NO!"

Sage Rat: "Say it, Emperor Kefka, or you'll keep partying!"

Emperor Kefka: "hardy har har, the joke's on me."

Sage Rat laughs.

Fin / end of Sage Rat

Emperor Kefka laughs. "You forgot your 420."

Fin / end of Sage Rat 420

iosolomon: "Hey, is this good?"

Sage Rat: "Yes."

Fin / end of Sage Rat 420 420


End file.
